by Danyelle Wolfe Read
Many who read my books and stories know that I write romance. There is usually something in my fiction for the believer seeking a mate.
To find the person God has selected for us is a blessing, going back to the first man and woman in Eden, confirmed in the circumstances of the Noahic blessing, then made part of the Abrahamic blessing, and finally, by the Messiah Himself. However, Jesus never married, and Paul expounds upon the fact that marriage is a distraction from the work of the Lord. Marriage will take time away from a ministry, but it’s worth it! So unless you have a special anointing to be single, or have been graced with one later in life as I have, you will do best to be married. Yet, if the right person has not come along, please pray for this grace until such time as they do. I have faith that God will give it to you.
God would give everyone a wonderful mate, however, sometimes the right people just aren’t doing their part and are either not ready or not even in place. We should not have to choose between walking in God’s Will and being married. But it’s a fallen world, and we often do. So don’t settle. Put God first in your life, even if it’s hard sometimes to stay single. That is the better thing, the one thing that really matters in our life on earth.
In my short story, “The Garment of Praise”, published here in this blog, one can see the seeds of a great marriage. Joseph misunderstood Mary and apologizes for it. Mary understands the situation and graciously forgives. Later, she is quick to get on board with him when he tells what God has directed about naming their unborn child. They are becoming one, because both steadfastly wish to follow the leading of the Lord. This is a cord of three strands that the Bible talks about.
My book Hope’s Motel reinforces this concept when Hope discusses her thoughts on having a great marriage. A great marriage is founded on the principle of both people being dedicated to hearing God’s plan for their lives, because they know that His ways are what will not only be best to fulfill His will on earth, but also be the most fulfilling to them.
As we mature and follow the Lord Jesus, our good shepherd, our gifts and calling will come forth and develop. At all stages of life, but more obviously later in life, marriage must recognize and honor the trajectory of both people’s walk in Christ. There are many wonderful and radically different examples of good marriages in this world. Some people make the choice for the woman to stay at home or work a secular job while the husband serves the Lord, some for both to work either tandemly or apart, in ministry or not, while still others support the woman in the spotlight (Joyce Meyers comes to mind here). Each couple has to work out what God is directing them to do in every season of their lives.
Now marriage has many other components, physical, mental, financial, and emotional, beautifully addressed in the books by Jimmy Evans. As a former couples therapist, I highly recommend the email subscription to his blog, which is free. He also offers books and information for singles. John Gottman’s work is also excellent. Google the two names and the word marriage, and it will all come up.
Marriage’s many facets is why it truly is amazing when two people find a mate under the shadow of God’s wing and learn how to love each other, though it can take significant work. Hopefully, the work can be done in such a way that both may fulfill the plans and callings God has written for them in His Book of Life.
Every good marriage is a modern miracle, beautiful to behold.